


Melt Your Headaches, Call It Home

by DeathOfAPrettyFever, PanicAtEverySocialEvent (DeathOfAPrettyFever), panicingwhilefallingouttwentyoneromances (DeathOfAPrettyFever)



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Based On A Panic! At The Disco Song, Brendon breaks down in a concert, Chigago, Chigago Theory, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Made Myself Cry, I wrote this while adding these tags, Inner Dialogue, Love Confessions, M/M, Northern Downpour, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, POV Brendon Urie, POV Ryan Ross, Pansexual Brendon Urie, Post-Split Panic! at the Disco, RPF, Ryan Ross/Brendon Urie Fluff, Sad, Sad Brendon Urie, Sad Ryan Ross, Sad with a Happy Ending, based on a theory, cape town, monologues, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-30
Packaged: 2019-08-25 11:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16660180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathOfAPrettyFever/pseuds/DeathOfAPrettyFever, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathOfAPrettyFever/pseuds/PanicAtEverySocialEvent, https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathOfAPrettyFever/pseuds/panicingwhilefallingouttwentyoneromances
Summary: “This is a stupid idea.” I thought. I was sitting at home, looking at my laptop while I was about to buy tickets. Tickets for Panic! At The Disco Pray For The Wicked Tour.I want Brendon back.I just want to see him again.It was my fault. It was all my fault.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [things have changed for me (but it's not okay)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/1821742) by [banallthemusic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/banallthemusic/pseuds/banallthemusic). 



“This is a stupid idea.” I thought.

I was sitting at home, looking at my laptop while I was about to buy tickets. Tickets for Panic! At The Disco Pray For The Wicked Tour.

I loved performing live with Brendon. I really want the old times back. I want Brendon back. I want us back.

It was my fault. It was all my fault. If Cape Town never happened he would still be with me.


	2. The Sun Was In Your Eyes

Another day, another show.  
Today we are in Chicago. I got used to performing in all those years.

  
But this time is different. More than 10 years ago, less than 5 miles from here I was also performing here, in Chicago. With the band. With Ryan.  
Fuck.  
I can’t think of him. Not now.  
I go to my dressing room and turn the radio on.

"It's indeed a shame that they never play it live anymore, maybe one day." The radio host went through the speakers. "Thanks for calling Hannah, and for the listeners at home, don't forget the call and tell us your request for what to play next. Here is Panic! At The Disco with Northern Downpour."  
It starts. I could recognise this acoustic guitar in a split second. His guitar. His song.  
I can’t listen to it without thinking of him. That’s why I banned it from every set list.  
Because the memory of him just fucking hurts.

“I know the worlds a broken bone  
but melt your headaches, call it home”  
No. Not his lyric. I remember the first time Ryan let me read those lyrics, how Ryan told me to pay special attention to that line.  
I can’t do this. I’m crying thirty minutes before the show.

 

“Brendon! Are you ready? We have to start!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning extreme crying warning.  
> go away  
> srs  
> i cried too
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> go away

Fuck this. I’m going to play his song. Maybe I feel better after I take the emotions off the song. I walk backstage and ask for a acoustic guitar. The crew look at me like I’m crazy, so I ask again. They hand me a Gibson J-45 and I walk over to stage again. Mike, Nicole and Dan didn’t know what I was going to do either, so I just give them a subtle nod.

I play a F major, downstrum.

 

* * *

 

”If all our life is but a dream, fantastic posing greed, then we should feed our jewelry to the sea”

Suddenly, all the memories come back. The hugs, the “stage gay”, the kisses the everything. I want to be with Bren, for the rest of my life. I need him.

”Tripping eyes and flooded lungs”

I’m crying. The girl next to me noticed it, and says “Are you okay?” I look straight into her eyes, and say “Do I look okay?”.  I immediately regretted my mistake. She freezes and starts to scream; “RYAN ROSS!” 

Brendon immediately looks in our direction, and slowly walks into my direction. The whole crowd looks at me. At us.

He gives me his hand, and I climb up the stage. The security looks at Brendon, and he nods in their direction. He gives his guitar to me, and I continue his playing. I look into his eyes, full of tears. 

”Hey moon”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay who is going to help me for ideas? i literally am out of ideas?


End file.
